I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
