this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
