You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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