News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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