you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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