You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
