I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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