Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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