I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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