I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dignity is for republicans.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
