I accidentally had phone sex last night
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
