So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..