i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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