chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.