ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.