I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....