do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.