"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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