i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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