when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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