I feel like abortions should bother me more
apparently the secret to your success is patron
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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