Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
