If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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