small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
