In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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