3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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