The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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