He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
