I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
