people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
