When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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