I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
