she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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