i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
whose parrot is this?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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