So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
