Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
