So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
