I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
