honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
