Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We have started to decorate penises.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
