there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
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Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
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Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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