he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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