is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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