Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
