He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
