nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
