he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
