do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There's always time for handjobs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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