Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
