Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
