How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize