im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
