I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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