people are starting to question the shark bite story
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
