Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize