If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
