Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
