i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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