I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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