Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
