It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
