me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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