so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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