He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You pole danced in your parka.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
