i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize