so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
